Crazy Peeps!

Stop taking it ooc'ly when my character snorts at your bat-eared Death knight, your elf who got pregnant from a Death knight (Again. How would she even know she was pregnant?) and aborted it...A few days later (Like she did the last time. Good luck being aware there's a dinky little zygote inside of you) and your Death knight who used to be some demon-wat guard-killing wannabe-serial killer maniac who appears to be in a different dimension where guards don't exist (Maybe he does that phase shift thing imps love so much) and whoever else I forgot. (Run on sentence fail)

Yes, I think your Rp sucks pickled kodo feet, but its not ooc when my character (Who's a warlock, i.e not a nice person to begin with) laughs at yours, declares they must be lying/tacked on ears for attention/stole a baby for attention and claimed to pop it out on the same day it was conceived. She's mean and a petty sadist, and picking on the people dumber then she is makes her feel smarter. Yes Mr. Demon, I have pointed out you've been doin' it wrong before in a non-meany way ("Attacking guards is bad, Silvermoon is pretty strict ic" "YOU'RE IGNORED YOU'RE A NOOB"), but when my character recognizes the familiar face of an idiot and makes some mean comment its not because I'm trying to run you out of the inn or whatever.

Happy Christmas gaiz.

Dear Dude,

I sympathize, I really do. We all have that character - the one we really love, but keep stashed away in storage. Maybe it's our first character ever, maybe it's just a setting we would like to push the boundaries on - either way it's something we recognize as a bit on the overpowered, Mary Sue side of things. We all have that character, and it's sad that due to circumstances you can't always play them. I wish the world was perfect and I could just show people my I'm A Good RPer I Promise badge and then get to play whatever the hell I wanted, without fear of things going pear-shaped, without people having bad memories of very bad roleplayers doing the same thing and doing it very badly.

I've been there, so when I try to give you a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, don't scream at me that I ~*just don't understand*~. It happens to all of us. Nobody really wants to hear my tales about how my WoW character's entire storyline was wholesale ignored, or how I kept getting shortchanged by bad mods in Harry Potter games who took back their word and let me high and dry.

The moderator is a decent guy. Yes, it sucks that he heard out your plans for your character's backstory/main story and agreed and has now just brought up the issue of these powers in this rp to the rest of the board, taking a democratic sort of manner about it. But he isn't leaving you completely stranded. He's understanding and has promised you that if the majority of players veto these special powers for PCs in this game, he will help you to manage your backstory and find a way to make it work.

Throwing a shitfit does not make me want to agree with you. I was completely neutral on the topic until you got irrationally angry and started taking it out on everyone else. You know who acts like that? Bad roleplayers who are angry their Mary Sue pet got taken away, not good ones. Now you've pressed the subject and just about created a civil war on the site because of it.

Sometimes, it is better to just let something drop, or say "Okay, I'll trust the vote, but here is my idea for everyone to look at", or, you know, BE CALM, instead of pressing it and getting angrier and angrier and making a hostile OOC environment.

As it is, you've effectively made me want to vote against your measure because you flipped out so bad. It was a thoroughly unhealthy level of flipping the fuck out that makes the worst posts on here look even-tempered. 5 stages of grief, my ass. If you are THAT involved in a concept in the RP, I don't want it - or you - around with those irrational, unhealthy thoughts.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up,
Sincerely yours,
Me

Let's get this straight? You ditched a line with me, because the character had the same first name, PB and powers as yours. True, when I brought him over to the dressing room type game from a now defunct heroes style game on IJ, because I couldn't sleep, and people hadn't been around lately due to RL and the holidays, those things had not even occurred to me with how much sleep I haven't been getting lately. Also, the fact that you never even friended the one character, who was supposed to be his child, but you friended the other line you had just fine. I had him friended to those other pups because I play because I play them all. You ditched me because you thought I replaced you. Well you were barely around for the line, A) and B) it was like pulling teeth to get you to post, but I wouldn't do that to anyone. If you had READ the first page of his USER INFO, which house his full application, with link to said defunct game, you would have seen so many reasons for him TO NOT BE A REPLACEMENT. Say, oh, he had been married to a woman, in IRELAND, who died around the time that he would have also been meant to be in the states in college, fathering said child. Now, instead of talking to me about it, and asking me, you jumped to conclusions. I tried to show you the proof, again, that he was in another game, with the same exact pup that I wanted you to be the mate of. I told you I would take him out of said game, but you insisted that you just needed to get rid of some things. Before you even let me speak, you actually didn't even, you just severed ties, and erased the post they had together, going on your merry. Okay, I get why you were upset, I do, but you could have let me copy that log. I told you that I would remove him from the game setting, I would have even changed his powers too, if he stayed, but you weren't having any of it. You wouldn't listen, you wouldn't talk. You just snip snipped, removed things, and went about it with the other muse you had a line with. I at least tried to be accommodating, I tried to talk to you, it just seemed like you were so eager to get out of the line, that you saw a reason to jump ship and you did. I loved their chemistry, but you only ever gave me barely a sentence to work with, and with how fast you ran away, and never did much to initiate much of anything, nor to really post to my pup, or his supposed daughter, but you were all over this other line you had, with a character you had brought in to fill my line specifically. YOU SUCK!

I haven’t been around BRPS for a while, as I got busy with life, but I’m thinking of coming back and having some more good times around here. As a housewarming present, I have a great internet tantrum for you.

This happened a while ago early May of this year, but in going over the Best Bad Apps (TM) of this year, I decided to share this one with you all.

As way of prelude: I live at a place called Sithspawn, been there coming on two years now. We’re an intermediate to advanced Star Wars RP site (more emphasis on advanced), set in a slightly alternate universe in the time period otherwise known as approx. 3000 BBY.

We’re a close knit group of players, but always happy to have new people come aboard and join our motley crew. Frankly, I’m amazed at how many good apps we get, as I’m so accustomed to SWRP dragging in horrible idiots. All good things have a bad side, though, and this fellow was one of them.

We have a rule that says, quite specifically (previously at the top of the page, now in a sidebar) to register with first and last names only. We don’t want titles, we don’t want nicknames. We want your characters first and last given names. End of story. We make that clear enough, and if you don’t get it right, we’ll happily change your login for you if you catch one of us who can do so.

That was this kids first misake. His login? The Envoker

It only got worse from there.

( His application. The coding errors are, in fact, his. )

So with that mess there, our head Admin, Glorious Despot, and all around awesome gal, gives him the nicest response she can muster... a response not unlike other people we’ve liked but knew wouldn’t fit in have gotten before.

( Indy Says )

That should have gotten a ‘thank you for your time, I’ll see you later’ at the best, or, at the worst some complaining and wondering why he didn’t get a ‘full’ critique. The latter I could have understood to some extent, but what we got was instead... well, you’ll see.

( Illiterate whining, ftw! )

And if there’s one unspoken rule in SS, it’s don’t pick on our members. Especially not Indy, as she is our leader, and in doing so you’ll only invoke the wrath of the rest of staff. More specifically, our self-proclaimed “Elitest Bitch” (I put emphasis on it being self-proclaimed because I personally think she’s one of the best and awesomest people on the intranets), Manda. In the chain-o-command, she’s next. There’s nothing she loves more than tearing apart a bad app, and in insulting dear Indy, “The Envoker” was asking for it. Manda’s not afraid to tell people they suck to their face if they deserve it.

So, he got it.

( And he gets what’s coming to him. )

“Sparky” as he is now called, decided to NOT do the smart thing, which would have been to leave and never look back with his tail tucked between his legs. Instead, he gave us this gem. This is THE best part of the entire entry, so if you read anything, read this.

( IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!! )

Through all of this, pretty much every one of our little crew are sitting in the cbox. We are having a HAY DAY with this kid. We all love watching Manda eat up a “good” bad app, and Sparky just took the cake as far as bad apps go. His response only made it better. We’re having fun tearing apart his application itself as well as his comments, and honestly? We just want to share.

( So even though there’s normally a strict ‘no one but staff may reply to an application thread’ rule, Manda calls open season. )

It’s like a sport. Seriously.

Especially as after her call for open season, Sparky says: “empty words for an empty person” and that is all. I mean... LOL.

For your amusement, I’ll include our member responses (including my own) to this fool. They’re also good for a giggle, but if you got this far, you’ve read the part that truly matters. Though, there are a few more Sparky responses mixed in, which I suggest reading as well. :) They are extra hilarious.

( Herein lie monsters. )

( All good things must come to an end. )

We were nice? No. Were we really amsused? Heck freakin’ yes. Sparky has gone down in SS history as we predicted he would, and now all we have to do is say his name and we all burst into giggles and quotes of “IF I WAS A SITH LORD I WOULD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!”

Because really, if you’re going to suck, might as well suck in an Epic fashion.

And with that, I'm going to bed, what with it being Christmas Eve tomorrow and all...

Oh, dear board owner, the super special smexy revamp of your site has been going on since ... early November?  And you just FINALLY, this week, changed the status message from 2/3 done to 3/4 done?  Come on already.  Way to kill a site, especially when you have plenty of people posting in the Cbox daily, wanting to join, wanting to play, and no one can do ANYTHING because the freaking site is offline!  And has been for going on two months now!  Just get it up and playable already!

When I was an admin on the site, a couple years ago, we NEVER took the board down for more than a couple hours.  Period.  Maybe once it was offline for a day, but that was a hacking issue.  We did not take the board offline for updates and graphics changes unless we had the materials and the time to do it RIGHT THEN.  You are making your faithful RPers who have been on this site for four years, with whole dynasties of plot and characters and such, very very sad.

I loved this site years ago.  I love it again.  I love my character who was actually in one thread for three posts before you took the site down.  I love the other two characters who used to be on the site and who I've been asked to bring back.  I have a busy life but I wanted to make time to RP because this community reminded me how much I enjoyed it.  I've tried to RP other places, but none is quite like this one - I want REALISTIC roleplay, none of that everyone-has-wings-and-purple-fur-and-magic-powers stuff.  Works great for other folks, but I can't play it.  And I want a level of literacy that I just haven't found anywhere else - I know it has to exist, but I keep not finding it.

Now please, board owner, give us back our site?  Pretty please?

(Userpic applies to RPers, too, at least in my case.)

 Dear player with autistic sibling.

Please don't tell me how to play my autistic character. Autistic people operate in so many diverse ways. One-size does not fit all. I understand that you have father that spent 35 years working with adults and you have a sister on the spectrum. But you have no idea as an autist to have a typical person tell me I am doing it wrong and how insulting that is. It's frustrating because you keep fucking interrupting and passively aggressively try to run the plot as well. 

Fine I'll play him in the way you see autistic people, I'll do what you say. But  I am so peeved right now. 

Your character is twenty-five. Is there any particular reason why you chose to have him literally have absolutely no idea what sex is?

Boys and ghouls, prepare yourselves for another harrowing story of the macabre, in...

GHOSTLY SOCK'S TALES FROM THE INTERNET!

( It was a dark and stormy night... )

I have not seen this ghastly apparition since, but I know without a doubt that they're still out there, waiting for another hapless player to suck into their web of horrors.

Until next time, my spectral spectators... Beware of strange roleplayers who accost you in the night and heed the warnings they give, or you, dear reader, may end up in your own tale from the internet!

You.
Nutbag.

Here's the thing, for at least the past twenty years (and I cut it off there because your character would not have been alive prior, being "16 or 17") there has been quite a bit of war, social upheaval, a plague or two, and all around "not nice" stuff going on in Azeroth.

People who haven't had any deaths in the family due to these things are generally not in the majority.

This is doubly so if you're talking to a Blood Elf (Hello there, 90% population reduction within the last decade!).

Now, I understand that your character might find my Blood Elf to sound a bit cold when he suggests that the "mysterious" death of your entire family was very likely nothing more than "Well, there is a war going on and the Kaldorei DO consider your people to be hostile invaders in their land."

Your family lived in Ashenvale (That's Elf Country for non Warcraft folk).
They were Orcs. All of 'em.
The Night Elves there generally do not approve of this sort of thing and deal with it in an eviction notice that comes in the form of "GTFO! KTHXBAI! *shoots arrows & druid-y magic* Oh, and stop molesting our trees."
They want you green skinned kids the hell off of their lawn and will resort to violence to achieve that goal.

Civilians are not off limits to either side, neither are children.
It's an ugly, ugly situation.
Genocide of the enemy seems to be considered a good idea and not some horrible taboo that's forbidden by a series of treaties.

It would be fairly normal for someone, IC, to just assume "collateral damage" over "vast cultist conspiracy to kill your family."

Now, given that, why did you elect to start screaming at me OOC that it was ruining your whole RP story that my generally skeptical warlock would not jump to the same conspiracy theory conclusion as your shaman?
The only evidence provided IC was, "I came home and found them all dead with arrows in them." Nothing told to him by your character would give any indication that it was cult related.

IC, pitch a fit, argue, provide more detail, whatever, it's fun.
OOC, seriously, STFU.

TL;DR:
Just because I know about your character's backstory doesn't mean my character does.
If you want my character to know, give him some actual knowledge via conversation.

The problem here is with assumptions. ( Private conversation is not the same as cyber )

I know your character had an odd upbringing. I also know he's pissed off and hates the world right now and wants revenge on everyone blah blah blah.

But dude.

When you essentially threaten my character and another character with death, ramble about how you nearly got assassinated, and say that your two NPC lackeys took down the assassins bare-handed, all in response to two characters mocking you because you didn't know anything about Christmas and yet were at a Christmas party--

--with other characters around no less, did you really expect someone to take you seriously and quake in their boots about how intimidating and scary you are?

...

You did, it seems, as you told me that my character would be dead in another reality for dismissing your guy as completely fucking insane, rolling his eyes, and walking off before your guy finishes. I mean, really now.

There's trying too hard and then there's this.

---

Edit: Ha, take that, LJ formatting! *shakes fist*

Look. I understand that we all have some problems. And starting a board in the summer is never easy to keep up. So it's not like I really can hold that much of a grudge against either of you. But I asked to help, and you both enthusiastically said that it would be awesome. So I set out to help. Why did no one at all help me? The one board I joined, where I offered to help and I was told that my best help would be as a member - and possibly later on playing a canon character I know and respect - is still going pretty strong.

I just really think it's a royal pain that you can't even be bothered with your own boards.

This is a really weird trend.

I'm sure everyone knows and hates those multi-page purple prose descs that go into great detail about every pore on a character’s skin... But what about the descs that just amount to ‘Character is wearing a black t-shirt, jeans, and shoes’.

...And that’s literally ALL IT SAYS.

Nothing about height, build, hair color, face, NOTHING. 

Personally I just imagine these characters as being walking coat hangers or something. Just sets of clothing, floating around… Like the invisible man. It's becoming weirdly common at the game I'm at too.

That and a lot of the characters are various fantasy creatures, and they'll just have descs like, "She/He looks just like a <species>. ...In a t-shirt and jeans." (It's always a t-shirt and jeans. I dunno, is that better or worse than long black trenchcoats?)

Wow so basically your character looks and dresses generic as hell? Maybe I'll just imagine him really ugly and deformed with greasy hair, because you aren't telling me otherwise.

I'm really not sure if this is better or worse than the purple prose descs. Really it's just the opposite extreme. Easier on the eyes perhaps, but goddamn, what happened to creativity? What happened to making your character unique?

Edit: For the record, I've asked one or two of these sorts to describe their char in more detail... because they had asked me to draw a picture of them. They then proceeded to act quite confused that I needed more detail, because after all, of course I should know what their character looks like from a single sentence description of their clothing. :\

All I have to say is 'WTF Man.'
Seriously. We were all RPing just fine, laughing as we did because some days, especially times around holidays where we are all stressed to hell, we like to have fun. We warned you before hand that we are not super serious people. That we're all pretty laid back, and enjoy a laugh every now and then.
So what the hell? Out of no where, you decide to try and kill my character? and not even in a 'Lol stabbity stab' way, but in long, drawn out, TL;DR posts about how she did something she never did? You haven't even been RPing with us for 3 weeks yet, and you pull this? And then, to make it worse, when we ask you about it, all of us curious on WHY you would try and pull this, you start drama?
You say you 'Hate me' and I'm the 'Worst thing to ever happen to this group' because I wouldn't let you get with my boy? Because we wouldn't go with your Ego-trip plot?
Hate to break it to you kiddo, but I started this group. It was also really dumb to invite everyone, save me, to a different channel to try and revolt started. These people are my friends, even the person who invited you to our group says you have to go.
I really don't know what brought t this on. I've talked to you twice. It's not just my decision that made you plot a No-go either. We run a democracy. We voted, no one wanted to join in this dick-sucking contest for your low self esteem.

Dear close friend,

We're playing in a nifty little RP. There's no real plot other than my most annoying character and the one person he'll listen to getting magically dropped into your world to mess with your characters (and fight for humanity's freedom, but that's secondary.)

Now, my character (the annoying one) isn't human or sane. In fact, he says he's insane and is pretty heavily medicated. You want to call him a monster, an animal, batshit, or anything similar? Cool! I love when people insult him, because it gets him angry, which makes him more annoying and more fun. Him being annoying is kind of the point of this game. Gives me more to work with.

What's not cool is getting angry at me when my character responds. If your character gets angry at my character? Fine! More drama which is fun. But you're getting pissed at me for my character getting angry over being insulted and beat down (and threatened with dog kennels.) OOC =/= IC and in game actions lead to in game consequences. Your character makes threats, my character makes threats. Your character makes offensive jokes toward my character; my character isn't going to be a happy little obedient soldier.

TL;DR: Stop getting angry when my character responds to threats and insults!

Sincerely,
That friend with the annoying, psycho werewolf.

P.S., So you've got the new, fleshy Cylons androids with identical and attractive bodies. The first one my character ran into tried to kill him and succeeded in leaving him with a huge wound. It was, understandably, traumatic. Don't be surprised when he doesn't trust the next android he meets with that face, even if I know that she's on the 'good' side. My character has no way of knowing this, and I even scaled down his reaction. In my personal writing of him, he would have shot her instead of telling her to "Leave. Now. Or I shoot." Stop getting angry at me!

( Post examples behind the cut )
This is why my character keeps dropping subjects and why my posts take three times longer to write than yours. I have to figure out how to respond in a natural way to all of the action and dialog, without introducing any new subjects otherwise you will continue on and divide up the conversation even further. He is not going to just sit there and stare dumbfounded while you leave the room, come back, elbow him, etc. Real life and in-character conversations are not Livejournal posts, people do not actually respond point-by-point! I am pretty sure you have spoken to another human being before so I am unsure why you seem to think this is the case, but it isn't.

I'm verbose but my posts could be shorter and faster and more fun if I didn't have to sit here and struggle with timing and action. I wish this was only one person doing it, but I see it a lot, even from awesome rp'ers, and I don't understand. All it takes is one person doing it to fuck up a thread where the rest of the characters either have to drop subjects or deal with actions and its just so incredibly annoying. Its incredibly difficult when there are three or more characters and they are all doing this and then A is responding to C's comment while B is talking to C as well and CLUSTERFUCK.

PS please place dialog on the end or beginning of a paragraph, not split up throughout, thank you.


(Sorry if the example is confusing, its even more confusing to try and roleplay)
(Edited to add an LJ-cut, sorry, told you I was verbose)

You are indeed a king among douchefaces.

You, sir, are a disagreeable, arrogant, closeminded, narcissistic, vulgar, amoral, sexist, predjudiced, and overall loathesome human being. And you can't roleplay for shit.

Oh, you say you can roleplay, but you don't.

You try to stack every odd in your favor, godmode like crazy, ignore the OOC/IC lines, pout like a child if anyone 'makes a challenge against your authority'- which is altogether another rant, insult people left and right if they even try to disagree with you on the most trivial matters, say that anyone actually roleplaying is just being a bad actor.

You don't understand rules. You don't see why you should 'limit' your knowledge IC, so you give your character knowledge of advanced physics that don't exist on this world, and you read the books so you can know what we're fighting and how to beat it without asking if you can make a knowledge roll. You're the kind of butthead who buys the spoiler book for the video game and plays it after memorizing the book. (Seriously. He does this.) You engage in bitchfits about rules that are hours long. And THEN you complain that we got nothing accomplished in our session, because 'the other players go on tangents'. That's right. You take an hour debating the definition of 'shun' when the DM sends a swarm of something against people on phantom steeds, but it's our fault for delaying game. Fuck you.

The only reason that you are even here is because you and the DM have been buddies since forever, and he knows you would take it extremely personally if he booted your ass from this game. You would never last in any game run by people who weren't at the last grasping edge of desperation. So.

When you whine about how few players we have, it kind of makes me want to stab you in the eye.

When you say we need to go out and find 'some intelligent people who can actually strategize,' I want to stab you in both eyes.

You have driven away some of the best RPers I've seen in a while. Why? Because they were overweight and you automatically treat overweight people like shit. Because they disagreed with your idiotic opinions and overinflated sense of self worth.

We have three other players in this game. The guy who has absolutely no friends or social life beyond this game. The DM's girlfriend. And me, friend to both DM and girlfriend. I've stayed so far because the DM is an amazing one as far as storytelling goes, and I've built my character up so much I don't want to end it right now.

Guess what? We won't find any new players because everyone hates your stinking, arrogant guts. And no, that's not because they're stupid or emotional, it's because you're a doucheface, and I wish the DM would stop holding your hand and let you fall on your miserable ass like the social failure that you are.

Say one makes the mistake to start a campaign of D&D 3.5 at level 11 with at least one really inexperienced(as in first game) player. Now say that you invite over three new people who are decidedly seasoned and used to a very different play style than is being implemented. One of said players opts for a Wizard, and is very good at turning the tides of battle with field control, rather than the fireballs our DM hearts so much. One of the following sessions involves no less than ten archers all converging on the wizard with readied actions with almost no regard for the rest of the group. End of a session comes and he promises there's going to be a new challenge.

That challenge? A barbarian, fighter, wizard and cleric four levels higher than anyone in the party with all their spells dedicated to antimagic effects.

Now, I don't know about the rest of the world, but when I hear "challenge," I don't hear "countermeasures against a single player." We did win, but it was a serious struggle for no other reason than him applying the Tim Allen approach to dungeonmastering. More power is not always the solution; if you want to beat the wizard, try using some of his own tactics against him. Also, listen to your players sometimes; we've given some insight as to what you could do, but we are not seeing any consideration(which, I suppose, I can understand if he believes we already have strategies in mind for these things).

Final note: monk, really consider what it takes to become a prestige class. Going from monk to assassin sounds good on paper, but you decided out of the blue you wanted to do it. We're all just glad we talked you out of killing someone for literally no other reason than to become an assassin. What part of that sounded "lawful" to you?

Hey, new RP partner?

I'm really excited about playing with you, too! The idea we had for a scene was awesome. Trust me, I understand wanting to get it played out before we "lose the moment," but if you don't have time to play, please don't bother. You aren't giving me your best, or your full attention, and I know it.

Also, disappearing in the middle of the scene and not coming back for several hours? Not making a very good impression for our future relations.